Ep 19: How I Used Subconscious Reprogramming to End Massive Frustration

Hi, everyone! I wanted to share how I've used subconscious reprogramming in my life to finally resolve some long-lasting frustrations that I never thought I'd figure out!

Are you a Generator or MG who wants some help beginning to reprogram your subconscious? Check out the 21-Day Subconscious Paradigm Shift: https://puregenerators.mykajabi.com/21-day-subconscious-reprogramming

Join the Generator/MG Glow-Up to learn your Human Design, reprogram your mind, and make your desires reality: https://puregenerators.mykajabi.com/generator-mg-glow-up

Transcript

 On this episode of New Paradigm Human, I'm talking about how subconscious reprogramming helped me align my mind with my sacral desires so I was able to make changes in areas where I had been stuck for years. 

Hi everyone, today I wanted to share a little bit about my own journey using subconscious reprogramming in my deconditioning journey and alongside living in alignment with the My design, which is mostly what we talk about here of honoring my inner authority, taking the knowledge I have about my design and implementing it in my life and business.

And honestly, I see this tool as being another thing that is very important to the deconditioning process, although human design does not speak to this directly. Really, subconscious reprogramming, or at least the version of it that I do, because there are many ways to approach this, is a type of mental deconditioning.

In sort of traditional human design, the idea is that by honoring your strategy and authority, you will shift into this full alignment with your design. But I think we can all agree that, especially for generators and MGs, this is not always true. Even Ra Uruhu talked all the time about how we have the toughest minds to break.

Our minds hold on until the very end and stop us from living in alignment with our inner authority and living in alignment with our sacral energy and our life force energy. And I don't know that he actually offered really any solutions to this. It just sounded like a lot of the generators and MGs that were into human design during the time that he was teaching it were having a hard time actually implementing it and embodying it and living it out in their lives.

integrating it into their daily existence. And honestly, I understand why because I have been through it too. It's easy for us to an extent to continue to operate in the world as it is because our world was created by a bunch of out of alignment generators and MGs. So, our minds have been programmed by that and it can just be a hard mental place to get out of.

So, I just wanted to share a little bit about my journey of deconditioning and using this subconscious reprogramming and why it was such a game changer and something that I wanted to share with others that I felt could really benefit our community. And we did the first version of this in the first glow up I did earlier this, I guess, late winter, early spring.

In that we focused on our identity center and an identity upgrade, but I want to make this more general moving forward. It was a good experiment and people got a lot out of it, but I think there's an even easier way to do it. So that's what I'm going to be focused on in July. I'm going to do a one month group experience of doing this together week by week.

We're going to be in Discord and I'll have all the materials on there, easy to listen to. easy to implement, but just having that structure is really powerful for most of us. So, I'll put the link below to sign up for the waitlist, but the idea is that we'll start on July 1st, cement this process together for four weeks, and then it should kind of change the way that you deal with your thoughts and mind moving forward and have a big impact on what you're seeing actually happen in your life.

So, let's go way back to the beginning. I started my deconditioning process. in May 2019, or at least my formal deconditioning process, because that's when I found out about human design. I think leading up to that and what had gotten me to that point, I had already figured out that I had this thing inside that was telling me whether something was a yes or a no, whether I had energy for it or not.

I did not know what it was called. And I didn't always listen to it, but I was becoming aware that I really needed to listen to it. Otherwise, the things that I did when I didn't listen to it didn't really work out. And I would just end up really drained and not feeling good, and I couldn't stick with it and whatever.

I've told this story a lot, but the key moment for me was one day at my job where I'd really been suffering for probably at least nine months and feeling really, really drained and burnt out and just borderline not well. Mentally, physically, emotionally, just nothing was good. And I had this massive, what I know now is a response to something that happened.

It was like a very small thing, but I had this thing inside me just go, no. And I listened to it and I left that job and then I found human design and then I started my business and the rest is history. So basically when I began that process, of deconditioning and making money doing something that I actually enjoyed and only saying yes to those things.

I was aware that I had some thoughts that were probably not supportive of what I was doing because I needed to take what for me felt like a big risk and make money. on my own terms. That was a very foreign concept for me because I didn't really know anybody in my life who did that. I don't come from a family of business owners or entrepreneurs.

I come from people who work for other people. So, of course, growing up as a child, I just never had any kind of. message around me that said that it was possible to do that. And I was aware of that. So I knew there were a lot of, maybe I'm downplaying a little bit, but some days I truly woke up like gripping the sheets in fear.

Like it was definitely way beyond what my nervous system was comfortable with. And so now I definitely advise people to make those kind of shifts in your life in a way that doesn't overstress your nervous system. But I didn't really know what I was doing. I didn't have any kind of. guide or anything to help me through this process.

So I was in extreme fear, extreme anxiety, but at the same time I had a little bit of savings. I had a part time consulting job with my previous company. So I had a little bit of buffer. I had a few months to figure out, well, do I actually want to make money on my own terms and own a business? So the fear and the negative thoughts were strong.

And so I actually did quite a bit of work on that at the beginning, mostly just surrounding myself. Online with people who already had successful businesses and were doing the things that I wanted to do to see if I could help myself Believe that this was possible because that was one of the main problems was I just had a lot of doubts So I definitely did quote unquote mindset work at the beginning there But I didn't really know what was working or if it was working.

It was more like each day I just got more used to this new reality and Honestly, just from a sacral energy standpoint, I didn't really feel that I could or wanted to do anything else. So I was willing to take some financial risks and put my energy toward this because I felt like if I didn't try it, I Would always have a question mark there and maybe just being a 1 3 profile, which is really sums up this issue, which is I really wanted that stability.

I really wanted to get to the truth of this. I didn't like the unpredictable nature of the whole thing, but I was also like really driven to get to the truth. Like, can you do this? Can I actually make money doing things that I enjoy? Is that possible? And my third line profile is like, yeah, let's try it all.

Let's make all the mistakes. So off I went. But yeah, there were a lot of doubts, a lot of mental chatter, a lot of being afraid to take steps that I felt like I wanted to take. But to be honest, I had just gotten so burnt out in my previous career that this uncertainty was preferable to experiencing something like that again.

So I decided to go for it. At that time, I think I definitely thought that if I got completely aligned with my design, that would answer everything. And that is kind of the issue that drove me to figure out how do you decondition your mind? What is this subconscious reprogramming thing? What is a way to do it?

where it's basically like a new lifestyle, a new way to live, a new way to think. Because basically what happened was over the next couple of years, I found that being in alignment with my design did not fix all the problems.  Over the next year, I took about six months to build up my online following, figure out what my message was, write a bunch of blog posts. 

figure out my ideas and my niche and what I actually wanted to share with people. Then I began by launching an online course and then I kind of kept in that vein. COVID happened. It was fairly easy to put something out online at that time because it was like spring 2020 and get a decent amount of sales and put it out there.

So I had a SACO response master class. I had readings that I did. I had some small digital PDFs, like my profile guides. That whole year was just a lot of business growth and I was feeling really good. Like, I was figuring out how to use my energy in a way that felt good. I put different offers out there.

I tried different things and I pretty much just stuck to what felt good. What I enjoyed and from a money standpoint, it was okay. That year felt really groundbreaking for me because I had never made money on my own before and even though it wasn't as much as I'd made at my previous job, it was enough to keep me afloat.

I couldn't have continued like that forever, but It was growing and that was what really mattered. So mindset wise, I would say at that point, I was in a pretty good place. I felt like this is possible. This is growing. This is going well, like it's all good. And so a lot of that process was just figuring out how does my energy work?

What do I enjoy? What don't I enjoy? What feels energizing? What feels draining? And that kind of took up that whole year of like 2020. 2021 continued a lot of the same and then I had an experience that made me realize like there is definitely something in my mind that maybe is affecting my reality or affecting how things unfold for me and also just messing with my own energy.

And that was that I had one of the most successful like months and launches I'd ever had in my business. And afterwards, I just felt like  completely let down because I think that in my mind, I had been building to this one thing for so long and I thought once that happens, then I'll feel safe and secure and confident and I won't be worrying about money and all of these things.

And then I had that.  I hit that goal, I made that money and none of those problems went away. If anything, I had like a big crash, a big existential crisis because I didn't manage the money well. I didn't feel safe. I didn't feel good momentum. I didn't feel satisfied. I didn't feel energized. It was like I just watched that money come and go.

I probably hadn't managed my energy properly during that time and so the next month I made almost no money, I barely put anything out, like my computer broke, I was kind of offline for a month. And I just experienced terrible mental health and worries and anxiety and doubts just unlike I'd maybe ever experienced in the, like the whole history of doing my business.

And so it was clear to me that like, okay, I created this thing that felt very in alignment with what I was excited about. I was excited about it. I put it out in the world. It felt satisfying to do that. It was successful. It was well received. And then something, like, something happened and I felt terrible and I knew it wasn't my sacral energy.

It was something else. It was going on in my mind.  So that was kind of where this journey began. And over the next few months and into that fall, because that was spring 2021, I got interested in subconscious work. I basically was just still following my sacral. I didn't really know why I was interested in that, but I was just going toward the things that felt energizing.

So I followed a lot of Juliette Oboto's work. She does really cool stuff with hypnotherapy for entrepreneurs. I had previously tried Lacey Phillips to be magnetic stuff, and while I found both of those things, like, helpful in a certain way and I understood how they worked, it never quite worked fully for me.

It never felt like it was the answer to this feeling of, like, there are these, like, thoughts and doubts and just constant recurring worries and self defeating thoughts that I just can't quite seem to get rid of, like, I don't know what to do with them.  Keep in mind, I have a defined head and ajna, so I'm gonna have Consistent thought patterns, for better or for worse, I'm going to get trapped in thought loops that are going to be originating from inside of me.

So that's how I experience that. But if you have particularly an undefined head, you may just be susceptible to the things that you're hearing around you. So when you're around someone who feels more confident or more positive, you might also be thinking that way. But then. When you're alone, you might be thinking more negative.

So it'll appear differently for everybody, but ultimately it's kind of the same thing. It's just sort of like how it manifests is a little bit different. But I sensed that it didn't really involve getting to like the deep root of  emotions and trauma and all these past things. I think that is one way.

And so if you're someone who hasn't looked at a lot of that stuff in your life, it is really important to look at that. But for me, I had looked at a lot of that and I had healed a lot of that and yet I still had these thought loops in my mind. Like, even though I was feeling really free to honor my sacral and do what felt energizing to me and really say no to things that didn't and experiment and mess up and change course and even see success in that.

Why was I still having these like self defeating thoughts that just led to a lot of negative emotions and also just undesirable outcomes. Like, I just didn't like my behavior when I had those thoughts because I would act on them. Just like out of desperation or anxiety or whatever.  So I rode in that sort of in between place of still experiencing this, having no idea what to do with it, and just trying to Like, fix it through continuing to honor my energy, like, okay, you know, I'm in alignment with my design.

Like the rest of it will just come like, and I also, the other mistake I was making was I was very focused on my desires, like, okay, this is what I want. This is what I want. This is what I want. And I would like journal about that. It felt like every day it was like, if I can get clear on what I want, then like, it'll come.

Around, you know, I'll manifest it  and manifestation is like related to this but it's also like a slightly different topic because I think there are a lot of different layers to Manifestation and living in alignment with our design is like absolutely one of them It's like a very very important one because we can't really carry anything out  successfully if it's not in alignment with our sacral energy in our design  But I just really was focused on, like, if I can get aligned with my sacral energy, then, like, it'll all manifest.

And so I was like, I want, I want, I want. Because if you think about it as generators and MGs, we are consistent desire beings. Like, our entire life is centered around what we desire. And so our desires and being in contact with those and in tune with them is very important for us. But I just wasn't seeing the results show up in my life, and that was the problem.

I was like, I feel like I'm doing everything right, and yet I'm still looking around, like, my financial life isn't where I want it to be, I still feel like really insecure, and my ability to keep Making the same amount of money every month. I didn't like, like my business structure just wasn't right. Like I tried so many things and it would work for a while, but then when it came time to pivot, like I just really had a hard time.

Like I was just having a hard time mentally feeling good about all of the things that are necessary as an entrepreneur. Like you do always have to change and you have to.  And that's just the way of the world. Like for me, at least like social media is always changing. Like the things I want to do are always changing.

And that's why I'm in this because that's the beauty of it. I'm a third line. I just enjoy that kind of. constant evolution. And that's like a really, a really positive thing. But mentally, I just wasn't feeling good about that. But around this time, I was like, Oh, I just don't know where this is going. And so it was creating a lot of anxiety for me.

There were certain goals that I had not hit that I felt I should have hit by that point. I was seeing some things just like going backwards. And it was just not a good feeling because I felt like, okay, I'm doing what I enjoy. I'm living just this great generator life, and a lot of that was true, but I also just felt like mentally blocked in a lot of areas, and I just, like, there was just this frustration.

Like, I would just have these moments where I was like, I just cannot figure this out. Like, I cannot crack my way through this. How do I possibly make this happen? Which is never a good place to be in as a generator, because forcing things to happen, just, no, it's not it. So, Last year, I ended up getting a book deal and writing a book about human design that comes out later this year.

And mentally, that was a difficult period because while I was really enjoying writing the book and that whole process, I'd always wanted to write a book. It was truly a dream come true. I also had to step away from my business and a lot of what I had been doing for months, like a couple of months. I was just really away and I was operating off of a lot less.

income and revenue than I normally would have. I did not have the energy to be creating content or selling anything like I had previously. And when it came time to finish the book and go back to my business, I just felt like I was at a total standstill. I was at a roadblock, completely stuck. I didn't even know what I wanted to offer or sell.

Like, I practically had nothing out there. Like, Because my SACREL just kind of wasn't interested in any of the stuff I had been doing, yet I didn't really know what to do next. And during that time, the mental state was just like, very bad. A lot of doubts and just a lot of negative mind chatter about what I was doing. 

And this is around the time that I found the Law of Assumption. The idea behind the Law of Assumption is really not that different from a lot of manifestation stuff that's out there, although most manifestation is the Law of Attraction, which is different from this. But the Law of Assumption is basically what you assume you're going to see out in your reality, what you believe is true, what your mind is affirming to you as being true is what you'll experience.

I always like to give the caveat that The world is complex and  it's not like everything you experience is quote unquote your fault.  Because I feel like we have a lot of experiences out in the world that we just can't explain and whatever. But I do feel like we have a lot more influence over what we see in our life, what we come in contact with, the results that we have than sometimes we think we do. 

If you think about your mind and the way that it filters out the world, how many data points are out there and how we tend to notice the things that we're looking for. I mean, this is just so true. I definitely have seen this play out in my life where all of a sudden, if I am thinking about something I don't usually think about, I start to see that everywhere.

And then it's like, okay,  was all of that there before? I probably, I just didn't see it.  And the way to really integrate these assumptions into your body is to visualize, imagine, put yourself in the scene where this has already happened. You're already assuming that you are this thing, you have this thing.

This is already real. And I think that's where I was going wrong in my process was I was so focused on I want, I want, I want, I'm wanting this. Being in touch with what I wanted was really important because that's, like, what my sacral was operating off of. But it wasn't really correct for, like, my mind and the way that I was perceiving the world.

It was just keeping me in that state of wanting. Is the law of assumption delusional? Sure, yeah, it is.  But that kind of delusion is really how we create new things in the world. It's how anybody who's ever created something new has taken a risk, and you don't really lose anything by  thinking in alignment with what you actually want to have be real.

It's not delusional thinking like, oh, well, because I'm going to have a million dollars tomorrow, then I'll  It's not like that, it's just not indulging in those negative thoughts that just don't really help with anything, like, I'll never be successful at this. It's like, how is that, like, helping anybody?

Only time will tell if that's actually true or not, and if it's something that you really enjoy and is really important to you, then it will work out the way that it's supposed to.  Mainstream society tells us that all of these things that we're interested in in this corner of the internet are delusional. 

But honestly, after working with the Law of Assumption and as you reprogram these self defeating or negative thoughts with thoughts that actually reflect the reality that you would like to see,  The more it just becomes normal to you, the same way all of these things that we were programmed to believe are normal became normal for us. 

I watch a lot of true crime, and I think part of the reason I'm drawn to that is because as a first line profile, I like to get to the bottom of human behavior.  And it's so interesting to see how these patterns get passed down through families. And more often than not, you can explain why someone has committed a crime based on the kind of abuse or upbringing they had.

Typically, their parent was behaving in a very similar way. So whatever we're exposed to, especially when we were young, is what gets programmed into our mind as being normal. The other side of the coin of that is the victims. If you grew up in a household where your mother was experiencing some kind of domestic violence at the hands of their partner, you're just so much more likely to go through that. 

Because whatever we've seen at that young impressionable age is what we truly believe to be normal. And so we will seek out that same pattern whether we know it or not.  Because in a way, our minds are like looking for it. They're noti it's noticing it. It's pulling that type of person into our life.

There are all the other people, there are all the other possibilities, but if our mind can't see them, if our Ajna just literally isn't focused on that because we're taking in so much, there's so many different things that we could focus on at any given time, then we're not gonna see the other realities and possibilities that are out there. 

The other thing I want to make clear is that it's not so much like negative thoughts. I guess negative thought is kind of the blanket term for a thought that goes against what we actually want to create. So you can just view it neutrally. It's not like you can't have negative thoughts. It's just that those thoughts that are like opposite, for instance, if you're thinking, Ooh, I want to make consistent, stable money in my business, then any thoughts that are, thinking like, I can't do that.

It's not possible. Those are just the ones that we want to reprogram and redirect because they're just shaping a reality that isn't the one that we want to pull in. So it's fine to have negative thoughts. Like, I don't know. I have negative thoughts all the time, but whenever I have one and I can see like, oh, that's against the reality I'm creating, it's like, nope, redirect.

And that's when everything starts to change. So it's almost like you're creating your own little culture in your mind, your own society, your own place with its own set of rules. And it truly does work. For me, the main thing I focused on when I started working with the law of assumption  Both feeling energized in what I did in my business and seeing consistent results, especially financially, and all of that turned over so quickly.

It's not like all of these magical things dropped in my lap, but I started to see opportunities that were fully aligned with my sacral energy and just worked better, were better received by other people, were more lucrative for me, and were just an overall win win for everybody.  I started seeing different inspiration.

I changed my beliefs about how I was at managing money, and I started to manage my money differently. There wasn't really any rhyme or reason for all of that, when these are things that I had worked at so much over the years, but just had never really seen any actual progress. Truly, these new ideas and possibilities just seemed to, like, drop into my lap  out of nowhere.

But honestly, I think they were there all around, I just didn't see them because my mind was not thinking that way.  So that's why I've seen all of this be so powerful for generators and MGs. It's so common to really be focusing on aligning with our sacral energy, with listening to our inner authority, and making a lot of progress on that, and yet maybe not quite seeing those tangible three dimensional results in our reality.

And so that can be really defeating.  And I find that generally, that stuff It really just comes from this subconscious programming, which is affecting the things that we're seeing and focusing on that we're able to respond to.  So if you heard yourself in this story at all and you resonated with it, I would definitely recommend joining the group that I'm going to do in July on Discord with all the content that you need to implement this. 

The groups there have been so incredible, such an amazing group of people. But again, this was definitely a result of the subconscious. work that I did. I had no idea how this would play out or if I would even enjoy doing a group on Discord or if anyone would like it. But I just felt that I had the energy for it and I went for it and it's been so amazing.

Such a cool group of generators and MGs who are all focused on exactly the things we talk about here. Living out their design, making good money doing it, feeling satisfied, problem solving, These areas of life that just aren't quite feeling flowing and satisfying, and everyone is so supportive. So if you'd like to spend a month with this type of group of people,  the link for the waitlist is below, with the idea that we will start on July 1st. 

I always send all the info first via email, so it's good to get on the email list there. Thank you so much for listening. I want nothing more than for all generators and MGs to be thinking about the possibilities in their lives in a positive way knowing in their minds that The desires that they feel in their sacrals are a hundred percent possible for them because we all deserve that I will talk to you next time